So this is not a novel idea. The idea that men aren’t nearly as attracted to big women, how our dating options are limited, etc. But that’s the thing: I get it. When I’m browsing through Tinder or POF and I see a big dude, I’m usually into them because I like big guys, but it also says something about them. It says they’re less active. It says they probably eat more and work out less.
Physical appearance often does inform our ideas about a person’s character. Should it? Not necessarily. But it does, that’s just a reality. I’m not the kind of person who demands other people find her attractive in the name of body positivity/feminism/being woke. I think big people are beautiful, but I don’t expect others to, and I think it’s weird to criticize people for not being attracted to large people. You can call them shallow for not liking big people, but can you criticize me for not liking women? I don’t find women sexually attractive, does that make me a homophobe?
I think the real problem is when guys (and girls) are dicks to big people just because they’re not attracted to them. Demonizing people for their weight makes you a shithead. But I digress.
Dating while fat sucks absolute ass. Here’s a comprehensive list of the people who message fat girls:
- Guys asking “dtf?”, “wanna fuck?”, “do you give head?” or any variation of the same basic message: I wouldn’t date you, but you’re probably easy because you’re fat.
- Married/guys in relationships who want an easy to please side chick. The thinking, I’m guessing, is again “fat girls are used to being treated poorly so they’re more likely to be fine being side chicks than skinny girls”.
- Guys who fetishize fat girls. Contrary to popular belief, this is not a compliment, nor is it appealing.
- Genuinely good guys who mean well.
I’m not saying all guys that want to date fat girls are garbage, there are some decent guys who are kind and are more into a girl’s personality or (gasp!) are even attracted to bigger girls. I’ve dated those guys, they’re great and just because it didn’t work out, doesn’t mean they’re not fantastic people.
But lately I’ve been getting more of the assholes that either just want to fuck, or expect me to bed over backwards to please them because I’m big. I had a date from hell last night with this guy who was a total fucking asshole. He tried to tell me he would”fuck me skinny” and was a condescending douchenozzle the entire time. As if I was doing him a favor for hanging out with him (even though he stood me up the first time we had scheduled).
So yes. I’m done. I’m not dating anymore until I reach 299 pounds, and possibly not even then (but that’s my current goal). I’m going to focus on my bomb-ass friends, focus on getting in shape and working out and living my best life. I’m no longer subjecting my heart and mind to these guys who see me as an easy lay, because I would like to believe that people are good and kind at heart and dating at this size just hurts.
Start weight: 415
Current weight: 361.7