Way to go, Fat Bitch! 

Can we just say congrats to me for a second? Because my ass got through Day #1 of getting back on track with the Whole 30. Some people (e.g. haters) might say that day 1 is the easiest of all the days. But not for me. Day 1 is affirmation that I’m on the right path, that I’m ready to crush this weight loss shit. Day 1 is hard for me to accomplish.

I’m not a self-directed person. I was homeschooled from 6th grade until starting college, so you’d think I would be self-directed. You’d be wrong! I just never learned anything and played video games all day. I am not a good role model for children, because I graduated from college after technically never really learning fractions. So, take that, education system!

Anyway, being un-self-directed is not a good trait for somebody attempting to lose as much weight as I am. I want people to tell me what to eat, when to eat it, and how much, and then I want them to cook it for me and pay for it. Buuut it turns out, shit like that does not happen in the real world. In fact, I think that sort of hand-holding stops after childhood, unless you’re super rich and have people to do all that stuff for you. Unfortunately, as far as I’m aware, I’m neither a baby nor a rich person, so the responsibility of keeping myself alive falls solely and tragically to me.

Hence, my pride in Day 1. Day 1 of making all of my own food, managing my intense cravings during a social engagement, ignoring the siren song of the Taco Bell right fucking next to my house, as well as the even louder and more violent siren song of the pumpkin spice syrup at Starbucks. I live for PSL. I’m trying to lose 200 pounds just so I can drink PSL as my primary source of caloric intake without dying.

But, I got to 414 pounds by having my (pumpkin spiced) cake and eating it, too. And it sucks, because I want it’s syrupy deliciousness more than I want most things, but less than I want diabetes. Soooo, in the mean time, we’re going to celebrate the ever-living fuck out of DAY ONE! Go me!


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